The Night Before Phishmas – by PhanArt Pete
Twas’ the Night Before Phishmas
All have through our nook
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a wook
The hoodies were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that The Phish from Vermont would soon be there
And I in my lot shirt and my heady mama with her booze
Had just settled down for a quick winter snooze
When out in the lot there arose a great cheer
I sprang from the bed to grab a fresh beer
Away to the Shakedown I flew like a flash,
Cracked open a brew and smelled some faint hash
The moon shone down on the freshly laid out wares
As the cops walked around but clearly didn’t care
When what to my bloodshot eyes did I hear?
But a mini VW bus with 6 n00bs driving it down the street in low gear
With a ginger for a driver, so torn and so frayed,
I knew at that moment it must be Trey!
Faster than a Llama, his phanners they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“On Fee! On Rutherford! On Mule and Tela the spy!
On Horse! On Guyute! On all of you guys!
To the top of MSG! To the heart of the city!
Now dance away! dance away! dance away so pretty!”
As unsold extras that before the dance party did fly,
When they meet with the ticketless, hoping for The Divided Sky,
So up to the rooftop the phanners they flew,
With the VW bus full of jams, and Fish, Mike and Page too!
And then just like that I heard on the roof
The dancing and jumping of each members foot.
As I put on my dance shoes and was twisting around,
Down the chimney Trey came with a Mound!
Trey was dressed to the nines, and Mike in purple pants
Page munched on a sandwich, Fish simply danced
The bundle of Jams Trey had flung on his back,
Made him look like a traveler, just opening his pack.
His eyes how they sparkled! His gingerness so merry!
His cheeks were like free roses, his nose like Jerry’s!
His floppy head of hair and rounded glasses framed his face
And his beard was red as he ran like an antelope to this place
The stump of Mike’s bass was held tight in his hands
It fucked my face with the smoke, it was something quite grand;
Page had a smiling face and a nice new shirt on his chest,
And when he laughed it was like he had just Brought in the Dude – his absolute best!
Fish was chubby and stout, like a hellborn child elf,
And I laughed when I saw him and I enjoyed myself;
A wink of his eye and a hi-hat intro,
And soon I realized I had to surrender to the flow
They spoke not a word, it was a silent vocal jam,
And filled all the hoodies with dry goods merch, hot damn!
And they touched their heads as the evening shocked their brain
They each gave a nod, and up the chimney they went as they came
Trey sprang to the VW bus and to his team gave Reba’s whistle,
And away they all flew towards the Mountains in the Mistle
But I heard him exclaim, as some green tea he poured,
“MERRY PHISHMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD TOUR!”
Safe travels to New York City!