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Editorial on the Naked guy from Surrender to the Flow

This editorial was first published in the Miami edition of Surrender to the Flow, the Phish Fanzine. We at PhanArt agree with this editorial so much that we had to publish it, in its entirety, with permission from the editor, Christy Articola. (all emphasis added)

Naked Dude by Drew Suto (thumb not accurate to naked guy's 'scale')

I was at Charlottesville when The Naked Guy jumped on stage.  While the crowd roared with laughter as he eluded security for nearly thirty seconds, and while the band watched, dumbstruck, I have to admit, I too let a giggle escape… for a second.  Quickly, however, my laughter turned to disdain.

Who does this guy think he is?

Okay, okay.  Maybe I’m a party pooper– but randoms jumping on stage stopped being funny the night Dimebag Darrell got killed on stage.  It’s not funny.  It’s scary. Imagine if YOU were Trey and some naked, possibly spun out, likely drunk guy lunges at you out of the blue?

I friggin love Phish.  You people know this, clearly.  I’m not knocking them for taking this fan antic and turning it into something funny and unique.  But I can only hope (and beg, and pray) that when Trey threw “Run like a naked guy out of control” into the lyrics that nobody got any ideas.  Sure, it was a fun Antelope, due to the alternate lyrics.  We all got a kick out of it.  But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, people… do NOT get naked and jump on stage.  Don’t jump on stage clothed, either.  JUST DON’T JUMP ON STAGE.  JUST DON’T DO IT.  DON’T try to get famous at a Phish show. Don’t you realize the repercussions of actions like this?  Tighter security.  Interrupted jams.  A general feeling of uncomfortableness from the band.  These are things we do NOT want at Phish shows, people.

I’ve always called Trey out for saying “Keep doing that– it looks cool!” during the first-ever glowstick war at The Great Went.  Yes, glowstick wars look cool.  I agree.  But this comment– and this comment alone– spawned years of all of us being hit in the head with glowsticks, and years of the band having to dodge flying glowsticks during some seriously sick Phish moments.  It’s finally subsided.  Glowstick wars are actually kind of great these days— BECAUSE PEOPLE FINALLY KNOW BETTER THAN TO THROW THEM AT THE BAND-  but it took years.

DON’T let this event in Charlottesville become a regular feature of Phish shows.  If you see someone attempting to run on stage, stop them.  IT’S NOT COOL.  This should not continue. This should be a one time thing.  The band may think its funny…. now.  But they won’t when it starts happening every show.  Sure– this was the first time it happened since “I saw Carini and the naked man” way back in Madison on 11/6/98, but hopefully it’ll be at LEAST eleven more years before we have to see these kinds of antics at a show again.

Please.  I’m begging.